Category: LOL CORNER

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At The Shore

There were once two Shoreline crabs.

Crabby “A” had two big claws.

Crabby “B” had one small and one big claw.

One day, they both crawled out of from their homes underneath the big rock from the ocean shoreline to find food for the day.

Crabby “A” and Crabby “B” both spotted a tiny dead shrimp and bickered over who found it first.

Crabby “A” : Hey! I spotted that shrimp first!

Crabby “B”: I spotted that shrimp first, so I get to eat it! Ha, ha, ha…

They both fought vigorously with their claws raised up high and ended in a deadlock until they fell on their backs.

Suddenly a loud and fast gush of wave submerged both under water and drowned them for a moment.

By the time they waves were gone, so were their food.

They both squinted their tiny eyes and glared at each other for a moment and was sad that their food got washed away.

Moral lesson:

If only you have the kindness to share and not waste time fighting and bickering, both parties will benefit instead of suffering a total loss.

~Jazzmin S. Lu

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He Said, She Said

Death Industry:

The thought of dying due to illness or tragic accidents are never positive in our minds. Death is imminent for humans, either we like it or not. Sometimes we could escape death based on life saving situations but luck runs out.

Our final resting place or after life is what most people plan for. For some folks that have a bit of extra money in the bank, will purchase a resting place for themselves and for the future generations to come. Land and location of a cemetery would come to mind.

Scenario #1:

Buyer: “Please tell me what I need to do to have a beautiful resting spot in this cemetery?”

Salesperson: “Well, our cemetery are just like all other cemetery around the country, it has this PPD system.

Buyer: “Could you explain to me, what that means?”

Salesperson: “Pick the spot, pay for the spot and then die. This system has been around hundreds of years. It is foul proof.”

Moral lesson: You must pay for a beautiful final destination. All beautiful destinations come with a hefty price tag.

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He Said, She Said

Religion:

Scenario #1:

There was once a very dedicated sheep herder that loved his sheep. His sheep was like family to him. Every day, he leads them to green wild pasture to graze on. Until one day, the land on one side of the river became dry and barren with no green vegetation. He decided to herd them over to the other side, but convincing his sheep would be a challenge. He had faith in God, but God is in Heaven and won’t answer his prayer immediately.

Shepard: “My fellow brothers and sisters; do you see the green pasture on the other side of the river? That is Heaven! Do you want to go to Heaven?”

Sheep: “Yes, we want to go! Tell us how!”

Shepard: “Well, you must cross the river, die and be reborn again! Your soul will then be lifted up to Heaven and then you will meet God. Please say, “Baaabaaa” if you agree.”

Moral lesson: Depends how religious you are, faith is the key.

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He said, She said

Beauty Industry:

Scenario #3:

A loyal male client in his fifties went to the beauty salon one day to see his hairstylist. He goes there once a month to have his hair washed, cut , styled and a bit of mental therapy. Of course in reality, hairstylists are not miracle workers, but at least they will listen to a certain extend to your personal problems.

The hairstylist washed his hair and sat him down to the styling chair.

Hairstylist: “Bob, the usual haircut?”

Bob: “I am getting more gray hairs recently. Is it due to stress and genetics?”

Hairstylist: “Well Bob, do you want me to tell you a sweet lie so you could experience the warm and fuzzy feeling or tell you an ugly truth?”

Bob: “No, I prefer the ugly truth.”

Hairstylist: “I am a sweet person, so I will tell an ugly truth. Enjoy your gray hairs now, due to stress and genetics, you will eventually be balding in your later years. The sweet part is, I could color your hair to hide your gray until one day you decide to buzz it all off.”

Bob: “Will that make me ten years younger?”

Hairstylist: “No, Bob. I don’t make any promises or guarantees. It will lessen your burden of how you perceive yourself on the surface, but how you really feel inside, I can’t fix.”

Bob: “Okay, I grant you permission to beautify me! I can’t let this handsome face go to waste without color on my hair! Book me that appointment!”

Hairstylist: “Just want to let you know, you do have to come back every month for a hair color touch up along with your haircut. Then, you have to use a special color shampoo, so the color won’t fade as fast. Are you willing to pay the price and put in the effort? It will be a change in your lifestyle.”

Bob: “Yes, just do it! Life is short, I want to look handsome as long as I can.”

Moral Lesson: We humans are born with a certain level of vanity. How we perceive ourselves within and outward is a mirror image. Our trust on the mirror image is so in depth that delusional thoughts come invade us subconsciously.

By Jazzmin S. Lu

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He Said, She Said

Real Estate Sector:

Scenario #2:

Sales Agent: “Welcome to your dream home. Look at the beautiful architecture, all the lines, curve appeal and a sturdy White picket fence. The all-American dream.”

Me: “How do you know about my dream home? Are you psychic? What if I am not all American?”

Moral lesson:

Having assumptions that everyone wants the same features for an ideal home is very taboo.

Scenario #3:

Anyone who has a keen interest in architecture and houses, we would share similar perspectives on the external and internal features. When it comes to house hunting with a Real Estate Agent, I would inquire about the unknown history of the house.

Me: “Are there recent deaths in the past few decades inside this house?”

Sales Agent: ” By California law, I am legally obligated to disclose deaths within the recent three years. I have to apologize, what you are asking is beyond that time frame. You may have to conduct your own research on the history of this house.”

Me: “I am a spiritual person, and I want to communicate with the dead on the dark side.”

Moral lesson:

If you believe in Feng Shui, it is ideal to know if lingering negative energy exists. After all, a house is not just merely a roof over your head.