Category: LOL CORNER

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He Said, She Said

Religion scenario # 3:

A dying religious, 60-year-old man was on his death bed, breathing his last breath. He suffered from liver cancer for many years and reoccurring pain was not his best friend. Now it’s time to say goodbye to his family, especially to his only dear and beloved daughter.

Man with hoarse voice: “My darling, I am so sorry to leave you now, alone to be in this chaotic place called “Middle Earth”. My life journey has reached a dead end. God has summoned me to his home, “Heaven” the top tier realm.”

Daughter: “Don’t go, I need you here to see your future grandchildren. Please ignore God. Whatever luxurious life that he tempted you with, don’t take that deal!”

Man with hoarse voice: “My darling, I can’t resist this deal. Temptation to a spiritual life is what I dream of. What you don’t know is that I led a double life, drowning in sin. I had horrible premonitions of being dragged to the bottom realm, which is Hell. I must leave now and travel to the tunnel of light and tread the glowing stairway to Heaven. After I pass through the gates of Heaven, I will redeem myself of all sins and will be judged again.”

Daughter: “I will miss you, Dad. I will never forget you, but I know you will now be free of pain and suffering. Please remember to visit me often in spirit, so we could chat sometimes. Promise me this.”

Man with hoarse voice: “Remember that I will always love you, my dear. Oh, oh, I see the light…”

With his last breath, the man closed his eyes and his body became lifeless. The daughter sobbed loudly and lifted her eyes upward and saw her dad’s spirit waving goodbye with a smile.

Lesson: Death is not the final destination. We could still communicate in memory and spirit. No matter what religion you practice, live life to the fullest in “Middle Earth” because there will be summons to Heaven (top realm) or Hell (bottom realm).

By Jazzmin S. Lu

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He Said, She Said

Religion

Scenario #2:

There was once an Asian and Buddhist mother that raised her daughter with morales and preached the idealism of doing good deeds to reap good karma within their lifetime or for future generations.

With her broken English, she had a deep conversation with her Asian American daughter.

Mother: “Daughter, go to temple with me every month to pray to Buddha and all your prayers will be answered.”

Daughter: “I pray for a rich and handsome boyfriend, who will love me and buy me all the things I like!”

Mother: “No, no, why are you, so greedy? Be a good girl and Buddha will give you blessings!”

Moral lesson: Praying gives hope and continuous faith in a religion. Sometimes in a typical traditional family, it sets the foundation for a well-balanced life.

By Jazzmin S. Lu

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At The Shore

There were once two Shoreline crabs.

Crabby “A” had two big claws.

Crabby “B” had one small and one big claw.

One day, they both crawled out of from their homes underneath the big rock from the ocean shoreline to find food for the day.

Crabby “A” and Crabby “B” both spotted a tiny dead shrimp and bickered over who found it first.

Crabby “A” : Hey! I spotted that shrimp first!

Crabby “B”: I spotted that shrimp first, so I get to eat it! Ha, ha, ha…

They both fought vigorously with their claws raised up high and ended in a deadlock until they fell on their backs.

Suddenly a loud and fast gush of wave submerged both under water and drowned them for a moment.

By the time the waves were gone, so were their food.

They both squinted their tiny eyes and glared at each other for a moment and was sad that their food got washed away.

Moral lesson:

If only you have the kindness to share and not waste time fighting and bickering, both parties will benefit instead of suffering a total loss.

~Jazzmin S. Lu

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He Said, She Said

Death Industry:

The thought of dying due to illness or tragic accidents are never positive in our minds. Death is imminent for humans, either we like it or not. Sometimes we could escape death based on life saving situations but luck runs out.

Our final resting place or after life is what most people plan for. For some folks that have a bit of extra money in the bank, will purchase a resting place for themselves and for the future generations to come. Land and location of a cemetery would come to mind.

Scenario #1:

Buyer: “Please tell me what I need to do to have a beautiful resting spot in this cemetery?”

Salesperson: “Well, our cemetery are just like all other cemetery around the country, it has this PPD system.

Buyer: “Could you explain to me, what that means?”

Salesperson: “Pick the spot, pay for the spot and then die. This system has been around hundreds of years. It is foul proof.”

Moral lesson: You must pay for a beautiful final destination. All beautiful destinations come with a hefty price tag.

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He Said, She Said

Religion:

Scenario #1:

There was once a very dedicated sheep herder that loved his sheep. His sheep was like family to him. Every day, he leads them to green wild pasture to graze on. Until one day, the land on one side of the river became dry and barren with no green vegetation. He decided to herd them over to the other side, but convincing his sheep would be a challenge. He had faith in God, but God is in Heaven and won’t answer his prayer immediately.

Shepard: “My fellow brothers and sisters; do you see the green pasture on the other side of the river? That is Heaven! Do you want to go to Heaven?”

Sheep: “Yes, we want to go! Tell us how!”

Shepard: “Well, you must cross the river, die and be reborn again! Your soul will then be lifted up to Heaven and then you will meet God. Please say, “Baaabaaa” if you agree.”

Moral lesson: Depends how religious you are, faith is the key.