Inspired by true events.
“As we travel the paths of life, each chapter involves people, places and situations that shapes us of whom we become as adults.”
A note to all readers: contains crude humor
Childhood/Teenage years
Situation #1:
Recess time at the playground. A White girl approaches me because I look different from her in appearance.
White Girl: “I am American. What are you?” “Are you Filipino or Mexican?”
Me: “No, I am Asian-American.”
White Girl: “What is that? I never heard of that before. You look stupid and weird.”
Me: “I am not stupid. I am from Planet 8, I came here to learn more about your kind.”
Lesson:
Being Ethnocentric is purely ignorance. (Cultural Awareness)
Situation #2:
A boy with a lanky tall body in stature, questions why a petite girl is so short in height.
Boy: “Hello there shorty. You are so short. Are your parents short too?”
Me: “Hello there giraffe. You are so tall with a long neck and body. Are your parents like you too?”
Boy: “Yes they are tall. So what? Better than being a shorty.”
Me: “I may be short, but I am cute, just like Minnie Mouse.”
Lesson:
Turn a negative vibe into a positive vibe. (Reverse psychology)
Situation #3:
My strict and traditional immigrant Mother reprimands me (in native her language) for being a tomboy and only plays with boys.
Mother: “You a girl, act like one. Help me do dishes, mop floor, wash clothes, and learn to cook. One day you marry good husband, I will be happy. You act like boy, no man wants you.”
Me: “Oh, well. I will marry someone who will love me for who I am, not for what I could do for him.”
Lesson:
Growing up bilingual is no joke. My mother holds on to traditional values and expects me to live up to her standards accordingly.
Situation #4:
A domineering and traditional father reprimands his daughter for talking back to him in order to express herself. He speaks loudly with a Chinese quote. When his daughter replies with an answer he didn’t expect, hot air could be visible rising above his head.
Father: “You do as I say. I eat salt more than you eat rice.” (Native language)
Me: “Really? Why would you eat more of salt? Isn’t it bad for your health? By the way, I don’t always like to eat rice, I like bread.”
Lesson:
A Chinese quote makes no logical sense to a liberal and rebellious girl being raised in California.
Situation #5:
Being 16 years old at 4 feet 11 inches was not my ideal height. I always hated my so called genetics from my parents. I was bullied all my life being called names. Being short to the others were like a death plaque. Being short and Asian literally didn’t help me with my self-esteem and self-worth. I recalled going to an Elementary school reunion that I coordinated was disastrous and rewarding at the same time. This incident was an Asian boy from Elementary and throughout High School that always bullied me, called me “shorty”, and cracked jokes. He finally decided to ask me if I have a boyfriend.
Asian Boy: “So, do you have a boyfriend now? Is he one of the 7 dwarfs?”
Me: “No, he is not one of the 7 dwarfs. He is tall and handsome, just like Prince Charming.”
Asian Boy: “No way! You dating a White boy? I don’t believe that!”
Me: “So, you have a problem with that?”
Asian Boy: “You are so wrong. You should be with your own kind.”
Me: “My only kind, is humankind. He treats me like a princess.”
Lesson:
I finally won a battle on my own terms. The people that bullied me all my life, gave me life lessons that made me mentally stronger. I knew deep inside my soul, karma will be a hardcore “Bitch” when it comes around for those people.
Situation #6:
My parents had 8 children. I am the 7th child among my siblings. All my elder sisters were married off before my tween years, leaving me to be raised with 3 elder brothers and 1 younger brother. I was a late bloomer, a tomboy and very rebellious. My reasons being the way I was due to the obvious fact that my parents favored the sons more than the daughters in my family.
Being from the old country, the sons are more valued and catered to in belief they will carry the family name and pass down the bloodline. Daughters were raised to be the ideal housewives to their future husbands. Then they benefit their in-laws instead of her family.
Motherhood:
Situation #1:
When my daughters were about 3 and 4 years old, we took a trip to SoCal to visit SeaWorld in the month of June. It was me and my girls first time seeing a Killer Whale named Shamu. At that age, kids say the funniest things while learning about the outside world and what is on television.
Eldest Daughter: “Mommy, its Shampoo!”
Younger Daughter: “Shampoo, shampoo! Mommy, I want to see!”
Me: “No, sweetie. It’s Shamu.”
Situation #2:
Being Asian-American means buying a combination of Asian and American food just to have a variety of meal dishes to cook for my little family of four. I recall going to an Asian market with my two girls to buy crab. They enjoyed looking at the massive tanks full of fishes, crabs, and lobsters.
My older daughter was 5 and my younger 4 years old. My older daughter mastered her ABCs and Basic English words, while my younger one is still catching up. Pronunciation was always a challenge for them. That day they found crabs roaming around in a massive tank.
Eldest Daughter: “Mommy, I see crap!”
Younger Daughter: “Yes, mommy. Yummy. Eat crap!”
Me: “No, no. It is crab. “
Lesson:
It was a total embarrassment for me, but at the same time, I corrected their language right away. I still laugh until this day as I recalled that memory.
Situation #3:
When I was pregnant with my first child after 1 month of being married. It was exciting and scary at the same time. I knew I would be different from my traditional mother and raise a “free spirited child”. I secretly referred the fetus as the “bubble child”. It was protected by a bubble and the creators which was me and my husband. I never would expect to be a “Tiger Mom” and have my child fulfill my dreams, because that is such an act of selfishness.
Lesson:
Procreation is leaving a legacy with the belief of having someone inherit part of your DNA when you die and cross over to another realm.
Opposite Sex Relationships
Situation #1:
During my teenage years, I acquired many guy friends through playing sports and running track at school. I had a petite athletic body due to minor weight lifting and assisting my mother with weekly groceries. I could proudly say that outdoor activities along with music saved my depressed soul and gave me the courage to survive all my years of mental and verbal abuse from my chauvinistic father until I left home at the age of eighteen.
Long story short, I had a guy friend that actually confessed his “puppy” love to me. I gave it this term because I was a realist and knew nothing would last forever.
Guy friend: “I really like you a lot. You are pretty, understanding, intelligent, funny, and athletic. Would you be my girlfriend?”
Me: “Why do you have to ask an obvious question like that? We are best friends. I am a girl, so I am your girlfriend.”
Guy friend: “No, the kind that do more than hang out together. Such as holding hands, kiss, go out on dates.”
Me: “What? No way, that would require too much effort. Also, I treasure our relationship too much to let it go south if things don’t work out.”
Lesson:
Good friendships are hard to find, especially in attainment of such one that may or may last. Also for the fact that I am brutally honest and realistic to the point that my heart will always guide me to someone that I have romantic feelings for.
Situation #2:
I had many guy friends in my life without the romantic feelings. Believe me, they are such wonderful human beings to be with especially with the same type of interests and hobbies. They always figured that if we share commonalities, we would be the ideal couple. What I desire the most was someone to embrace my individuality, creativity, and independence. I never crossed the line of friendship and lovers. Some guys have pristine qualities of a friend instead of a lover of any sort.
Guy friend: “Do you want to go steady with me and be my girlfriend? You are all I need because we have some many things in common.”
Me: “No, I like you as a friend. You are not boyfriend material. I don’t want to lose you as my best friend if we ever break up.”
Female Relationships:
Situation #1
I am one of those nerdy type of gals that are quite studious throughout elementary, middle and high school. My naive self, throughout childhood desired acknowledgement and approval from a father that thought I was not worthy of his love and affection. Attainment of knowledge was always my path to prove to others and myself that I am a human being that deserves love.
I was a rebellious girl and still kept up with my GPA of 3.0 throughout high school. I recalled having a friend that seems to freeload off me for benefits such as assistance with homework and such but never returned the favor. She always had to disclose others’ flaws and shortcomings to make herself more superior than others in our circle of friends. Basically, she was a rotten apple that I had to pick off from my healthy apple tree that I grew from seed in my life.
Lesson:
A friend is not a true friend; if she is pessimistic, demeaning, and petty and the worst of all, a freeloader (a person that wants to receive, but never gives)
Beauty Industry
Situation #1:
At the start of my Cosmetologist career in my early twenties, a client once complained to me, “I have too many strands of gray hair.”
I replied, “At least you have hair and it beats being bald, right?”
Situation #2:
Being a Cosmetologist comes with the side job of being your clients’ psychiatrist. They expect you to listen to their hair problems and personal problems. Sometimes when I have extreme chatty clients, I would nod my head and inside my little head would be a dialogue of “Blah, blah, and blah”.
Lesson:
Being a good listener could earn you a large amount of tips, just by acknowledging them. There are lots of lonely people out there.
Real Estate Industry
Buy your dream home today. It comes with all bells and whistles. It comes with a beautiful picket fence, well maintained front yard, long drive way and landscaped Zen garden.
Wait a minute, I realized it is only a dream. It comes with a hefty price, I couldn’t afford yet. I had to slap myself silly; left and right.
Lesson:
Action must be taken, in order to make dreams come true. Wishful thinking doesn’t apply.
By Jazzmin S. Lu
